Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
