I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sorry about my life...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
