someone get that fucking seahorse.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
