just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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