Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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