PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
