so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
As shirtless as possible
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
