I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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