before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
