hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
