Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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