hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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