can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
