alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
