Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
love makes seman taste better
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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