Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
it's great music for shaving your balls
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
