I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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