You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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