I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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