Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
