I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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