Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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