how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
