You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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