Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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