You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
