My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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