Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
