dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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