That's when you crack a 10am beer
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
