so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
