I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
is it fun? or sober?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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