cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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