the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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