you would pick up someone in the library
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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