Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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