But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my shit smells like andre
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize