youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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