it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Houston, we have a blender
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
