Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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