Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
