I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
