you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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