I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
