so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
nutella sex= disaster
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Text me some of your sweat
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