I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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