I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize