So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize