I hope mine doesn't look like that
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
