hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
