Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize