Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
