Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
