so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
