If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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