I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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