chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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