there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
