tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
