very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
