You're a womanizer and a bitch.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
