I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
